Magic of togetherness...and certain flash mobs

I am not a crowd person, and definitely not a mob person. Three is a crowd for me. I prefer playing Scrabble at home (or Words with Friends on the phone) to dancing in a club around strangers. Maybe it has to do with my on and off introvert-extrovert personality. I cannot be myself in a crowd. I waste time constantly analyzing whether Im doing the right thing, saying the right words or worse-forget having fun analyzing whether Im having enough fun. That sounds like a control freak- but Im not. I am honestly and genuinely scared of crowds.

For the same reason, I could never understand how people can have fun in a crowd. I used to watch people at Thrissur pooram (ofcourse on TV) and wonder how they can go through the torture of being hit, pushed, pulled...and so on and still enjoy the celebration.


And then I went to Brazil. Togetherness is a lifestyle there. They thrive in crowds. They declare holidays for weeks on end to celebrate carnivals , which essentially is 'not an inch to drop a pin' crowd beating drums and dancing. People just start dancing in the middle of the road the moment they hear music. I still couldnt understand how. A certain Australian who was doing a RTW trip and then in Brazil, tried to make me understand- "When so many people gather together to celebrate--happiness vibrates. Magic happens. Then even the barest little makes people so happy. And you can feel that energy and you being one". At that time, it sounded all mumbo jumbo to me. But thankfully, I was proven wrong two weeks back.


The super talented enthusiastic 'desi's of Houston organized a Kolaveri flash mob. I didnt dance. I didnt really do anything except take some pre dance shots and hold the camera from shaking in the wind. But I was happy. Like the 500 odd people who joined in to watch the flash mob in a cold cold Sunday evening.


Apparently if you let go, you can have fun in a crowd.The happiness indeed vibrates back to you. And there is magic in togetherness.


So if you are curious about the flash mob which made me all sappy and epiphanic--Here it is. Its a brilliant piece of work. And kudos to all those who worked behind and in front of it, especially Ajay, the brain,heart and hands behind the video.

Soapbubble- I actually thought that cop in the video is named Black'mon' in jest. Like Babumon, Shajimon etc. I hope I dont get sued for racial discrimination now.

Children of Heaven

For me, movies and books are like friends. Some give you company only when you are happy (like that blockbuster I saw last night). Some are trust worthy- and lift your spirits even in a bad day with a thrilling page or a striking dialogue. But then, there are best friends—who go beyond. They touch you in ways you never thought of. Every read and every watch is a new experience. Best friends don’t do gimmicks. They let you be—in all your bare simplicity.

Majid Majidi’s “Children of Heaven” is (one of) my best friends. It is a simple and a very charming Iranian movie which is also incidentally  Iran’s first nominee for Best Foreign Language film at the Oscars (not that that bit matters). Children of Heaven tells the story of two siblings, Ali and Zahra and the lives around them. And of course- a lost shoe. I wouldn’t want to give up the plot more than that. Simply because, this movie is like that favourite short story you read in your teens. You probably will figure out what’s going on with the story line well before the first half ends. The spirit of this movie lies in the way the story is told.

Children of Heaven makes me want to reclaim my childhood. Every single expression and dialogue from Ali or Zahra or even their classmates is a warm breeze of nostalgia. My wonder at the charisma and genius of these child actors never cease. Their expressions almost make us feel like we are watching real life unfold in front of us.The politics and evil of rivalry in children is wonderfully captured in the climax race.

The movie is so rich in its details and the aggregate effect of it is incredible. A simple look of Zahra’s yearning at her classmates shoes, Ali’s bumping at the wall when he waits for his sister, the water fountain time between the siblings—every single moment is simple, yet so wonderfully meticulous in its flow and execution.

Like I said earlier, you might easily guess the climax. If you are the kind who gets disappointed at that- this movie is not for you. The beauty of this movie is in the experience of watching it knowing something good will happen at the end and yet endure the silent ache which tugs at your heartstrings. Children of Heaven  does what any best friends would do. It teaches you a life lesson every time you turn to them. Some may say it’s a children’s movie- but y’all- Big things comes in small packages.

If you have not watched it yet-experience it. If not for anything-watch it for the simplicity and honesty. It’s a beautiful and intricately woven simple tale with minimal verbiage. Some say that’s the secret of powerful cinema.

Note: This post is an entry to the Reel-Life Bloggers contest organized by wogma.com and reviewgang.com

(Not that I have any hope I would win--but I hope this post will inspire atleast one of you to watch the movie) 

Is your neighbour gay???

Two months back, I met a a guy in a class where I  was the teaching assistant. He came as a guest speaker by special invitation from the professor. He was quiet, extremely well behaved and a very efficient speaker. He was barely 27- my age.

So what was it that he talked about which made this otherwise simple guy so interesting?
He talked about how he was threatened to be stoned to death in the country he was born and raised and educated. And how his mentor was lynched a month back and how he had to run away and seek political asylum in a strange country where he has no friends or family.
All because- he is GAY!!

I couldnt sleep for days!. Stoned to death? Really? In 2011??  Well, things happen and I forgot about the kind young guy who was almost killed for his sexual orientation.

Until yesterday- when my Brazillian landlord asked me about the flippant remark of the health minister of the worlds largest democracy. Ghulam Nabi Azad apparently thinks homosexuality is a disease and is unnatural. But I cannot judge him- because me too thought so a long time back.

The religion I believe in taught me homosexuality is a sin. Like any good church going girl, I blindly believed it. For that matter, nobody bothered to even let us know what homosexuality is. It was a sin. Period.

Even when my brain developed enough to question other such blind beliefs, I did not dare to venture to understand the mystery shrouding this particular topic. Partly the reason was I did not know any gay/lesbian/bisexual person then. Through the teachings of the church and the cultural upbringing I had made me believe they are some kind of monsters like murderers, rapists or child molesters. The other part reason was a story from the Bible- the story of Sodom and Gomorrhah.If the Bible gives a story of how it destroyed two cities because of homosexuality-it must be a sin. That was my half baked thought and rationale.
But if you need to rationalize too much about something, something is wrong somewhere.

I realized that quickly- when I had my first gay friend. He was not the media celebrated fashion stereotype gay. He was an extremely good hearted, passionate and kind human being. Someone who cared deeply about the injustice in the society and tried in his own little ways to make a difference. My, stubborn religiosity thought he is an exception. But I kept on meeting and making new friends whose only difference between me and them were their sexual orientation. Most of them were good people. (I wont harp on the farcical ones-because they exist everywhere-in every race, color, creed, gender and even in sexual orientation).Most of them did a lot of good compared to the 'straight' 'sinless' people.

My sanity will not let them be labelled 'sinners' anymore. I didnt have to find any reasons. But if I had to- I realized if I followed the Bible blindly- I would have to wear a head gear, should not talk amongst men, cannot eat a lot of things I eat and will be probably stoned to death myself for countless other sins. Who am I to judge?
And the famous Sodom and Gomorrha story- suddenly it made sense; in the right way. The story talks about an entire city full of men knocking at Lot's door demanding to have his male guests. Lot offers his daughters; but they decline it and continue demanding the men.  Everyone assumes homosexuality  is the sin here. But what if the roles are reversed- what if the guests were female and the whole city of men was demanding them? Wont it be still a sin?? Ofcourse yes. Im no Bible pundit. But my humble view is that the sin in Sodom and Gomorrha in that particular instance would have been gang rape.
Not that now I need a Biblical reference to quench my conscience.

Because I believe in a religious philosophy- which teaches to Love thy neighbour as thou love yourself.
And if my neighbour is gay?--- my conscience never fails to give me the right answer.

Brain freeze OR Word Freeze??

I have a serious affliction.
I get these grand ideas to write when Im away from the computer; but the moment I sit down to write, no words come.

Sometimes I have all the time in the world to write and I still dont- simply because I like being incredibly lazy at times;
But there are days when I really want to blog or jot down something- those days I will inevitably be swamped with academic writing.

I usually dont edit anything I write in this blog. It comes straight out of the draft window. I was told thats not good blogging practice (apparently there are rules here too) and certainly not good writing practice. I was trying to improve my English writing skills one of those days (more about it later) and decided Im not going to post anything here unless and until I edit it properly. And the next thing I know- I havent blogged for the next three months. So, I guess that worked out well!.

They say- good environments help to write. If thats true- I should be able to write a best seller now. Im in an exotic country living near the beach in a apartment with a beachview (sort of). Well, even though the writing freeze still continues, Im able to take some good pictures atleast.

Do you experience this block??
If yes, what did you do to get over it? If no, what did you do to not get it?  Share please!.

So whats the point of this post? Well- nothing! Atleast it got me to write.

Before it becomes a totally random post- I want to share this poem which was published in the summer edition of Urban Confustions. I promise- the other entries are much better.;).

Urban Confustions is a literary effort from a group of urban women who is trying to redefine boundaries.

Urban Confustions is a group of woman writers who are dedicated to bringing out  realities, from the chaotic urban agglomerations of the world where they grew up, inhabit and work in. Women who have things to say, and say it best within art,  stories,  poetry and non-fiction.

Go here if you want to know more and order a copy or even if you want to be a part of it

A Very Belated New year post

In dire times, passions take a back seat. The things ( and people most of the times) you love the most are gracious enough to wait till you are ready. Till you are out of the rabbit hole. This blog had been my faithful companion- during my lows and highs. It stood by me in times of trial and jumped with me in times of joy. (Yes! I consider 'it' to be a person, just like I consider books to be 'a' person or 'multiple' people). Yet, I had to temporarily abandon it. Despite my tardiness and sloppiness, the blog held onto me.

Sometimes making me read what I wrote years ago and reassuring me.
Sometimes through its kind readers dropping in a comment/email to check in on my sanity.
Sometimes coercing me to scribble something and store in the draft box for catharsis.
Even when I was disloyal, the blog remained faithful.
So its time to give back the loyalty and what better occassion than reviving some old traditions-- Resolution time.

This blog had seen many resolutions . Some were broken, some were not. Regardless of its action status- it was always a good exercise for the tired brain and the overworked mind. A time to set the stop watch again.

So this year, I just have two very simple resolutions---

1. Let go

As Zen as it may seem, that was the biggest lesson I learnt last year. Things might not go the way you planned- but it can work for the better. I still have my dreams and aspirations; but Im not terribly disappointed if life doesnt take me the route I wanted to go. When you fall, you will learn to rise up- and thats all that matters. And when you let go, magic happens.

2. Be a child

This one might be a little tough. But yet, I believe its worth the battle. I just want to dream without abandon; be free of jealousy and fear; have the courage to seek the unknown; and mostly to believe we can still make the world a better place. When you are a child, nothing seems impossible.

So there is mine! What are your resolutions???

Happy New year to you all!

Aisha- Movie Review

Was the great anticipation for Bollywoods 'the chick flick' all worth it?

I love chick flicks, like any normal girl. They lift my depressed spirits and transport me into my very own thrill zone. (The kind of thrill guys get from their action flicks). Nobody really cares about the story of a chick flick as long as there is enough gloss,guys, pretty dresses and a happy ending. Aisha has all of it, and to boot a great story, apparently borrowed from the great classic of Jane Austen, Emma.
But what could have been a much adored screen delight just falls flat in its face, and you end up remembering only how fabulous the haute couture  was and how handsome Abhay Deol looked.

So what exactly went wrong? I guess we will have to turn to Jane Austen for the answer. Before she began the novel, Austen wrote, "I am going to take a heroine whom no-one but myself will much like." I guess it turned out a false prediction for the Emma in the book; but Sonam Kapoor playing Emma/Aisha will leave noone loving her.

If only, she could have embraced the character with the poise and elan it deserved,  Aisha would have been more than just a cosmetic mouse trap. And sadly, everyone else playing their parts almost to perfection makes you hate her even more. Amrita Puri as Shefali is the most refreshing actress you will see in recent times; she is like a whiff of fresh air in the otherwise melodramatic world of Aisha. Cyrus Sahukar, Ira Dubey and Lisa Haydon runs a close race for the best supporting cast a chick flick can ever get. I hope we get to see them in more movies. There is nothing to be said about the role of Abhay Deol, because he doesnt have much to do- except look all adorable and preach at the right times.( And that, anyone else could also have done).

This movie belongs to its designers. The clothes, shoes and the sets are unbelievable. But then, Im told by Delhiites, yuppie kids do dress and live like that. A lot of those upscale blogs make much more sense to me now; and thats the only pittance I got out of Aisha.

It was just a nice bouquet of good dresses; I could have just bought a fashion magazine to have that kind of pleasure 


Read this and for more --- Go to Review Gang

Kerala Chronicles Part I -- Fighting corruption begins at home!

For those who wonder why it took so long-I was preparing myself for this post. Balancing between a thin line of wanting to write it and keeping it forever buried as a cherished memory was a tough act to decide on.

I had gone home for almost 2 months-- I went for my parents 'graduation' and was busy being proud of them in their big day. On March 31st, 2010-- both my parents graduated with top honors from being civil servants of three decades to the genre of wise retirees. And I was more than proud on their big day. I was' jumping on the chair--whistling- and clapping with all my might' proud.

Some friends of ours joked, it was newspaper worthy news--those human interest items, couple stepping onto retirement life on the same day after more than 30 years of government service. (Though, dont ever make the mistake of asking my mom why she retired on the same day as my dad, who is supposedly 2 years older than her. Thats a story for another day). It may not be a striking news item, but it was definitely a striking moment for me. From as far as I could remember, I have seen them walking to their offices, coming back together for lunches, except for maybe the last working year of my dad when he was posted in a far off location. And it was no surprise, when many of our neighbors came to know about the retirement when the periodic joint walks of the 'loving couple' (term used was love birds) ceased.

Me and my brother have had very close experiences with government offices. We literally spent a lot of our childhoods roaming around in and out of both my dads and moms offices--for the lack of better baby sitting mechanisms back then. And Im pretty sure, thats the only crime which both my parents have done against their code of conduct in employment. And next, is the part where I answer a question which, maybe hundreds of people (including my husband) have asked me before.

8 out of 10 times, I have faced this question/statement/remark/concern/smirk/sarcasm-- when I have told someone that my parents worked in government service. "Oh.You must be rich, they must be getting a lot of black money as bribes" or the more direct " How much kimbalam (bribe) do they get?" or a very subtle laugh combined with "Hmms.." intonated with the wildest accusations.

And thats one of the most important reasons I am freakingly proud of them today. My parents, never in their three decades of government service accepted bribes in cash or kind, nor condoned bribery. Not because they didnt get the opportunity, but because they chose not to. Both of them were in strategic departments which if they willed, could have turned into a money churning wheel. But thankfully, not even once did they fall prey to temptations of time, money and power, even in times of despair and difficulty.We have had trying times, extremely difficult times. But none of that tempted them to take bribes.
Maybe, I didnt really know the significance of it at an earlier age. But today, when I run a family and is coming in terms with the cruel and difficult ways of life, I know what immense courage and moral strength it took them to be so.

Most of us, including me has seen how bribes and corruption work in government offices. We are sick and tired of it, but nobody seems to be able to do anything about it. I always wondered why it was so. The so called people who took bribes, were normal people like you and me. Or like my parents. I also realized while we lament, on the failure of our systems, we still wont mind giving a little under the table to get our jobs done faster. Yes, I agree- the problem is much much larger in scale and proportion. But doesnt the change start from us?. You will ask, why Im saying this. Because I have seen first hand, how people can tempt a government servant to the utmost to get their job done. I have had people coming to our house, thrusting big packets in mine and my brothers little hands to persuade my dad or mom to do a little favour.It was ridiculous to the point that, our parents used to lock us inside our home if they went out for something, so that people wont leave tainted stuff in our hands. When, there is so much temptation around, how can you solely blame someone for taking the fall?

My parents still live in a beautiful, yet very minimal one storeyed house after earning for 32 years. They didnt have a car till recently, which they bought with their retirement earnings. They havent enjoyed a lot of material possessions, which I so easily take for granted now.They could have easily had more, if they wanted. If they bent a little of their conscience to accept  little extra tainted bucks. Even when they had a lot of peers and colleagues indulging in luxuries afforded by bribe money, they didnt fall prey to the easy bait.

And if thats not something to be proud about, I dont know what will be.

And to top all that, they have been gracious and kind enough to let both their children follow their dreams. Its not an everyday thing, that a small town girl from Kerala is let to go outside to big, bad cities like Bangalore and Bombay to pursue something other than medicine or  engineering. They spent their hard earned money on indulging their childrens whims and fancies. They stood by them when the whole world laughed at them.All this while, keeping their integrity and not taking even one paisa illegally.
 


I have asked my parents, so many times whether they were ever tempted to take a bribe and why they never took some. My dad just gives a stoic shrug, as if Im crazy for even asking it. But what stuck with me, is what my mom said- " No matter how much you make 'like that', you will lose it. And you will suffer, or worse, your children will". That pretty much sums it up neatly, doesnt it?


I would never dare to say my parents are perfect. They are not. But they are heroes in my eyes. And judging by the love and kind of farewells, they received from their colleagues, I guess they are that for a lot of other people too.

I have never said this to them-- I am proud and thankful to be your daughter.
And you will  be my heroes always- 
For teaching me the value of integrity and moral courage.
For showing that you can sail through even in murky waters.
Love you.


And wishing you both, the happiest retirement life. You earned it.